ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize