Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
