Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
