Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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