Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So apparently I’m into choking now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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