oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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