i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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