The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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