Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
