I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
