I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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