I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
