Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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