Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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