Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
