They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
