i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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