The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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