That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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