a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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