Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
third nipple confirmed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
