Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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