But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
