Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What drink are we having for lunch?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
