i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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