Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sonrisa hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.

Fav 27 5453 1307
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

Fav 7 1092 4045
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.

Fav 17 7698 1500
share tweet
(626): View more from California

Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.

Fav 7 4509 1911
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.

Fav 8 4902 1845
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.

Fav 11 3885 1429
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.

Fav 5 3040 1961
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.

Fav 3 399 681
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+49): View more from Germany

we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party

(1+49): View more from

whats a cultural enlightenment party

(+49): View more from Germany

we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out

Fav 0 55 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT