Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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