Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Randomize
