Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize