i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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