I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
