But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
