Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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