so that wasnt chicken after all
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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