is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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