i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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