Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
