You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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