This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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