Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
