He is such a slut. More and more my type.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
