at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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