Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
