i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
