your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
