thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
