Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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