You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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