why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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