So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
