he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
