i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
