We're facebook friends in real life
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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