I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
