I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
