at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
