so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
