Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I lost the right to judge tonight
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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