Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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