Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
