ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
