My room smells like vodka and shame
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
