week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
