Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize